What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
