Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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