My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
