Where are you?
In a non slutty way
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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