I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
