i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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