just survived the first fart of the relationship.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
