I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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