I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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