i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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