my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
