Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Im part way to drunk.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
