you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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