I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
