he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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