My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
