eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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