I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
