it wasn't lemon gatorade
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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