I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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