so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
