Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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