He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
