Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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