'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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