He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
