I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
