it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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