i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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