My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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