my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
