After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
