This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
