their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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