So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
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Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
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Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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