Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
