there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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