So drunk its hurt
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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