maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
