Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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