You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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