1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
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I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
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I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
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