And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
