Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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