my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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