:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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