Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Randomize
