Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Randomize
