I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
