So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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