everyone is single if you try hard enough
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
