brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
