Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
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You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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