so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
