Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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