i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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