So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
