Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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