Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
please don't ironically join a cult
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