I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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