In the future we'll all be gay
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
