I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
