We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Maybe he injected his testicle?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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