adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
