roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
If I die, sorry about rent.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
