grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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