Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
