That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
