That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
He went soft
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch